"Kill? Yes. There are only two ways out: to kill my wife, or her. For it is impossible to live like this.[4] It is impossible. I must consider the matter and look ahead. If things remain as they are what will happen? I shall again be saying to myself that I do not wish it and that I will throw her off, but I shall only say it, and in the evening I shall be at her back-yard,—and she will know it and will come out. And if people know of it and tell my wife, or if I tell her myself,—for I can't lie—I shall not be able to live so. I cannot! People will know. They will all know—Parasha and the blacksmith. Well, is it possible to live so?"
[4]At this place the alternative ending, printed at the end of the story, begins.
"Impossible. There are only two ways out: to kill my wife, or to kill her. Yes, or else . . . Ah, yes, there is a third way: to kill myself," said he softly, and suddenly a shudder ran over his skin. "Yes, kill myself, then I shall not need to kill them." He became frightened, for he felt that only that way was possible. He had a revolver. "Shall I really kill myself? It is something I never thought of,—how strange it will be . . ."
He returned to his study and at once opened the cupboard where the revolver lay, but before he had taken it out of its case, his wife entered the room.
XXI
He threw a newspaper over the revolver.
"Again the same!" said she aghast when she had looked at him.
"What is the same?"
"The same terrible expression that you had before and would not explain to me. Jenya, dear one, tell me about it. I see that you are suffering. Tell me and you will feel easier. Whatever it may be, it will be better than for you to suffer so. Don't I know that it is nothing bad."
"You know? While . . ."