Christian Science
Book I of this volume occupies a quarter or a third of the volume, and consists of matter written about four years ago, but not hitherto published in book form. It contained errors of judgment and of fact. I have now corrected these to the best of my ability and later knowledge.
Book II was written at the beginning of 1903, and has not until now appeared in any form. In it my purpose has been to present a character-portrait of Mrs. Eddy, drawn from her own acts and words solely, not from hearsay and rumor; and to explain the nature and scope of her Monarchy, as revealed in the Laws by which she governs it, and which she wrote herself.
MARK TWAIN
NEW YORK. January, 1907.
“It is the first time since the dawn-days of Creation that a Voice has gone crashing through space with such placid and complacent confidence and command.”
This last summer, when I was on my way back to Vienna from the Appetite-Cure in the mountains, I fell over a cliff in the twilight, and broke some arms and legs and one thing or another, and by good luck was found by some peasants who had lost an ass, and they carried me to the nearest habitation, which was one of those large, low, thatch-roofed farm-houses, with apartments in the garret for the family, and a cunning little porch under the deep gable decorated with boxes of bright colored flowers and cats; on the ground floor a large and light sitting-room, separated from the milch-cattle apartment by a partition; and in the front yard rose stately and fine the wealth and pride of the house, the manure-pile. That sentence is Germanic, and shows that I am acquiring that sort of mastery of the art and spirit of the language which enables a man to travel all day in one sentence without changing cars.
There was a village a mile away, and a horse doctor lived there, but there was no surgeon. It seemed a bad outlook; mine was distinctly a surgery case. Then it was remembered that a lady from Boston was summering in that village, and she was a Christian Science doctor and could cure anything. So she was sent for. It was night by this time, and she could not conveniently come, but sent word that it was no matter, there was no hurry, she would give me “absent treatment” now, and come in the morning; meantime she begged me to make myself tranquil and comfortable and remember that there was nothing the matter with me. I thought there must be some mistake.
Mark Twain
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
PREFACE
BOOK I CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
CHAPTER IX
BOOK II
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
POSTSCRIPT
CHAPTER V
SUMMARY
CHAPTER VI
THE PASTOR EMERITUS
THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS
THE PRESIDENT
TREASURER AND CLERK
BOARD OF TRUSTEES
READERS
ELECTION OF READERS
THE ARISTOCRACY
CHURCH MEMBERSHIP
AND SOME ENGLISH REQUIRED
“READERS” AGAIN
MONOPOLY OF SPIRITUAL BREAD
CHAPTER VII.
THE NEW INFALLIBILITY
THE SACRED POEMS
THE CHURCH EDIFICE
PRAYER
THE LORD'S PRAYER-AMENDED
THE NEW UNPARDONABLE SIN
AXE AND BLOCK
READING LETTERS AT MEETINGS
HONESTY REQUISITE
FURTHER APPLICATIONS OF THE AXE
MORE SELF-PROTECTIONS
BOARD OF EDUCATION
PUBLIC TEACHERS
BOARD OF LECTURESHIP
MISSIONARIES
THE BY-LAWS
THE CREED
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE PUBLISHING ASSOCIATION
THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE PUBLISHING SOCIETY
CHAPTER VIII
“MOTHER-CHURCH UNIQUE”
“NO FIRST MEMBERS”
“THE”
A LIFE-TERM MONOPOLY
A PERPETUAL ONE
THE SANCTUM SANCTORUM AND SACRED CHAIR
THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE PASTOR-UNIVERSAL
PRICE OF THE PASTOR-UNIVERSAL
SEVEN HUNDRED PER CENT.
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
CHAPTER XI
CHAPTER XII
CHAPTER XIII
CHAPTER XIV
CHAPTER XV
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B
APPENDIX C
APPENDIX D
APPENDIX E
APPENDIX F
MRS. EDDY IN ERROR
MAIN PARTS OF THE MACHINE
DISTRIBUTION OF THE MACHINE'S POWERS AND DIGNITIES
CONCLUSION